I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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