I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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