I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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