doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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