Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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