i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
