I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
