You really coming over, don't trick.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
