oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
