Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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