There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
