Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
