laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize