i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
