But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
