There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
