I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
