i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
