Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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