i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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