I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
