Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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