a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
