bring money and cleavage
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
