Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Your dad touched me again.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Randomize
