now i know why i became what i already was.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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