Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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