when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
