remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize