around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
