im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
