I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
