Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
