i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
