Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
