Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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