Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
