Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize