she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
