he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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