I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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