you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
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