I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
