i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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