we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
