3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
