So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
