I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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