i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize