We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
