and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
