I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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