whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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