Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The Olympian is in my bed
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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