You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
