I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
