I'm really into asian looking animals
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
