that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
