I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
