In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
