all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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