Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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