New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
