Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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