Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
