Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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