in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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