Can i not drive my cunt home
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
