Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
