You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
