lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Please, let me fuck your mom
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
