my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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