YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
